In Sochi…

Many games as the Olympic are being performed now. Watching on TV, it seems very cold there. It is also very cold here as same as in Sochi.

I have to pack my property to move back from Shiga Prefecture to Fukuoka, my hometown. I have lived here about for 2 & half years, but I don’t feel sad about moving away from here. But pacing my books, notebooks, pens and other things, I think still the meaning of my past 3 years;

3 years ago, I really wanted to learn about baking breads as professionals and made my mind to study it with moving to Osaka. The cultures, customs and dialects of Osaka are very different from Fukuoka. I was naturally afraid of living there, but at the same time I thought that it was no doubt that I could get the skills to living as a baker. When I think back it on now, it was a just stupid prejudiced impression about my ability…
But in fact, now I give up to become a baker because of the lack of my skills, ability to do it and being ascertained that I am with high-functioning autism. Fortunately, I was offered to work as an instructor of baking bread at home from my own lecturer and my parents also offered me to help their family business. I have to thank them for their kindness. Yet I sometimes feel that I have no value to exist.. What could on the earth I achieve? Nothing has been attained in my lifetime, I feel.

The performances of many athletes around world are spectacular very much in Sochi now. Why did the God …if he exists… make many kinds of people who have ability difference, and some of whom are given the various obstacles, disorders, disables and handicaps? Some are praised, on the other hand, at the same times, some are killed by someone or suffered from something, without satisfactory reasons. Does the God or “something great” possibly know the reason, if they really exist somewhere in this world?

  1. A champion is determined not by the number of his achievements….but by the depths he had to go in order to achieve…and by the number of times he had gotten back up to finally achieve. The victories over others only tells of the lack of competition. The hard won victories over the self tells everything about the man.

    Think long term. True pleasure in life comes from overcoming hardship…not through the absence of it. If you have nothing to overcome…you have nothing to achieve. The more difficult the hardships or obstacles…the greater the victory. Once a hard won victory has been achieved (many many years)…it is a pleasure which shall continue giving throughout your life.

    • Thank you for your comment. I know that I tend to think about myself too pessimistic and I don’t have to regard my things and contemporary situation wrong. But at the same time I’m afraid of my future. My income will decrease surely, on the other hand many of my quondam classmates or playmates work hard and energetically and earn money to live with their family or to bring up their children. Though I will become 31 years old, I don’t still make my own life style which can move continuously.
      I know making up my mind about my things from now on in a hurry is not good. The system of my brain to think something and the character of myself are very different from others… So that The life styles regarded as the common sense by many people can’t be perhaps suitable for me. For not “to earn money” but “to be myself” I try to plan my life from now on.

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