About 1 month will have passed soon by Friday,

But I don’t sometimes believe that I worked at a bakery as a baker about 1 month ago. I often feel it was just a dream… which is often said “nightmare”.

“Nothing is wasteful for our life” is a famous proverb around the world(?). I naturally want to believe so, yet it is very difficult for me to regard the choice which I choose and the fact that I worked to become a independent baker about for two years as something meaningful. “It was just the waste of time”, This is also a wording people often say, And it often covers my feeling and makes me brought in gloom.

“I am PDD-NOS.”, This fact made me calm at first because I felt it was proved that my awkwardness and incompetent didn’t come from the lack of my effort. But gradually I found it also showed that the result of making efforts of me was limited; Because this disorder can be never cured… I can’t live as one of ordinary people.

“I have wished to be ordinary and normal, like my classmates or my colleagues”….. It’s never realized.

I hear many people of “PDD-NOS” or other kinds of ADD-Spectrum are often suffered from deuteropathy. Losing self confidence, afflicted with depression, feeling fear to meet someone and so on… Perhaps I’m also caught by them and I feel it is very hard to overcome their pain.

Thank you for your coming here today.

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