A new year has come.
A new year has come and about two weeks have passed since then. No articles weren’t added on this blog for a long time because it was hard for me to write something new here; I had many things to do last month.
Every December is the month which many people have to do various things to prepare to greet the next year coming soon in. In addition, I had to face to myself about a thing.
Since I was a child, I’ve had a feeling “I’m different from others in some respects.” When I talked with my classmates, when I play with them, I often had such a feeling but I couldn’t understand what was wrong. Sometimes someone told to me, “To sense the mood!” And though I didn’t have ill feeling to someone, he/she got angry when he/she listened to what I said. I couldn’t guess or grasp the reason. It was very difficult to “sense the mood”, so that I liked to play alone more than with many classmates. I wasn’t able to play sports well. It is still hard for me to throw the ball. When I see children throwing it like an athlete, I always wonder why they do that so well. I prefer to play inside to do outside; Reading books and Drawing pictures was some kinds of the best recreation for me. School library is the wonderful area to invite me to the world of knowledge. I often drew a map many sheets of paper. The map wasn’t based on the real geography; The towns, cities, tracks and highways existed only in my imagination.
The conclusion is that; I am with the high-functioning autism. A doctor diagnosed my illness as it. I was very surprised at the diagnosis but at the same time I felt my feeling become calm. I have thought that the problems about my human relations are proceeded from my character for a long time. But she said to me, “It isn’t based on your character but the difference of how your brain functions.” Her words helped me to erase my anxiety.
I still think about my illness and sometimes feel anxiety about myself. But at first I try to grasp my peculiarities now.