About some things I’ve recently thought or felt.
For a long time I couldn’t write any articles on the blog because I didn’t have any time to do it. I realize that the first sentence of every article is recently same thing when a new one is uploaded. 😄
For recent weeks I have thought about what I have done since last October. “What I’ve done” means to bake bread at a bakery as a work. About four months have already passed . Yet I don’t believe that my skill becomes better or I’m accustomed to bake bread which keeps a same condition at every baking. What time have I already failed? How much did I give this bakery loss? These questions make me very anxious.
Furthermore, It is very difficult for me to work among people who are “strangers” for me. I’m not good at having a communication or a conversation with others. Talking something with those who are in the same generation is especially hard for me because I don’t know what I should talk with them. It is much easier for me to do the same thing with others who are elder than I. Therefore I have scarcely any friends who are the same age as I. Some of my colleagues are about my age , and others are more than 10 years older than I. So I can have a communication with latter.
I have already written that I don’t what I should talk with someone who is about my age. Frankly speaking, I can’t be interested in what they talk about; They often talk about tender passion, TV programs, Japanese pop singers and so on. It is very sorry but I have little interest & information about these things. As a result, I can’t join to there conversation. I understand it is not an important problem at all. What is important is to concentrate my attention upon my works. However I feel anxiety about this problem.
Are other people not troubled with such a thing?
It is certain that this trouble makes me very very tired every day.
I feel that to write something in English becomes more difficult for me than before. And moreover, when I watch a TV program of foreign countries, I can’t understand what people on TV say. When I was an university student, I could perhaps understand the content made in foreign languages better than now.
I wish I learnt to write and speak English and German again. Many people in Japan use Skype as a useful tool to talking with foreigners. I also use Skype when I talk with someone, but they are all Japanese. I have no confident of talking in English or German, with foreigners who I don’t know besides!
Aaaahhh…. Many words of English and German have already left my brain somewhere….
This article can’t also make those who read it glad or merry. I’m very sorry for it and thank you for your visit here today.