About some things I’ve recently thought or felt.

For a long time I couldn’t write any articles on the blog because I didn’t have any time to do it. I realize that the first sentence of every article is recently same thing when a new one is uploaded. XD

For recent weeks I have thought about what I have done since last October. “What I’ve done” means to bake bread at a bakery as a work. About four months have already passed . Yet I don’t believe that my skill becomes better or I’m accustomed to bake bread which keeps a same condition at every baking. What time have I already failed? How much did I give this bakery loss? These questions make me very anxious.

Furthermore, It is very difficult for me to work among people who are “strangers”  for me. I’m not good at having a communication or a conversation with others. Talking something with those who are in the same generation is especially hard for me because I don’t know what I should talk with them. It is much easier for me to do the same thing with others who are elder than I. Therefore I have scarcely any friends who are the same age as I. Some of my colleagues are about my age , and others are more than 10 years older than I. So I can have a communication with latter.

I have already written that I don’t what I should talk with someone who is about my age. Frankly speaking, I can’t be interested in what they talk about; They often talk about  tender passion, TV programs, Japanese pop singers and so on. It is very sorry but I have little interest & information about these things. As a result, I can’t join to there conversation. I understand it is not an important problem at all. What is important is to concentrate my attention upon my works. However I feel anxiety about this problem.

Are other people not troubled with such a thing?
It is certain that this trouble makes me very very tired every day.

I feel that to write something in English becomes more difficult for me than before. And moreover, when I watch a TV program of foreign countries, I can’t understand what people on TV say. When I was an university student, I could perhaps understand the content made in foreign languages better than now.
I wish I learnt to write and speak English and German again. Many people in Japan use Skype as a useful tool to talking with foreigners. I also use Skype when I talk with someone, but they are all Japanese. I have no confident of talking in English or German, with foreigners who I don’t know besides!
Aaaahhh…. Many words of English and German have already left my brain somewhere….

This article can’t  also make those who read it glad or merry. I’m very sorry for it and thank you for your visit here today.

  1. You are more mature than your years. You think deeply and more about the future rather than concentrate on the present without a care. The one’s in life with experience have more wisdom…and so, you naturally have something to talk about with them. There are others in life of your age who also think as you do. Just keep your eyes open for them…they, too, feel lonely. In the meantime…you are your best friend…do what is best for your best friend…keep working hard and keep striving for a better future. Cast aside your doubts and all whom are looking to destroy instead of build.

    • Thank you for your comment. I read it and thought various things about my work, what I do at my bakery… and the way of having communication with colleagues.
      Recently I’ve been very tired, I don’t know the reason for my tiredness. Only a day for rest per week may be too few to recover my vitality. Or stresses and strains may make me tired…. As you said, I’m my best friend, I think so too, but actually I often feel that I lose myself in life fulfilled with tiredness every day.
      At first, should I try to find myself in my mind again? With writing this reply, I think that I have to take time to face myself.
      Ummm… I don’t understand what I think and write. I’m very sorry…

  2. I had found, when I was working under stressful conditions, and with little rest, that the most rejuvenating method was to have a good long exercise session. The stress stays with you unless you work your body. When you can’t get rid of the stress…it affects your sleep. That is what is making you tired. Try exercising after work…you will sleep deeply and you will feel refreshed. Your state of mind is often a reflection of the state of your body. Improve the body…the mind often follows.

    • I’m sorry to be late for replying for your comment. The Exercise, It is very unfortunate that I’m not good at any sports(Perhaps children belonging to elementary school can throw a ball much better than I), But I like to walking along the street with taking a long look at a view of various towns. When I have time, I try to refresh my body and mind with doing it.

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