One of the way to live without being afraid of making something wrong, though I don’t want to make it..
It is about 4:30 in the morning now. I could have a good sleep last night because it is holiday today; This holiday is very precious for me… I can have only a day per week as a holiday. On other days except every Monday I have to go to work.
Recently I have gotten accustomed to my own work gradually, I’ve felt. Of course I still sometimes make mistakes when I bake and make bread; But I’m not shocked more than before when I make something wrong. It may be owing to medicines I take now… Last week I went to hospital of psychosomatic medicine located near my house and I got some kinds of medicines to make my mind kept calm. It sometimes seems strange or bad to take medicines to prevent my mind from confusing, but I think that it is one of the ways to live without being afraid of making something wrong which isn’t a deliberately ill action. Confusing mind often makes other serious mistakes… I’ve already experienced such a situation many times.
By the way, it gets very colder day by day. I feel the last season of the year will come soon… I like winter the best of all seasons because the air in the season is very clear, the sun looks very clearly beautiful. “Hakanai(儚い)”… this is one of the words I like very much, and it means “fleeting, transient, vain or fragile”… “All things are in flux. ” This season let me feel it very much. Everything will come to end some day. It may be a very sad fact or destiny all things must accept, but I think that at the same time it is the salvation for me… I fear to live eternally without dying; Perhaps I become strange if the end of my life doesn’t come permanently.
Thank you for your visit here today.