I’m afraid of communicating with other people…

To have a communication with other people is very difficult for me because I was afraid of being hated by someone… by my mistakes or other causes.

I can’t still believe that I was liked or accepted easily by other people. That reason is I don’t like myself at all. At my workplace, I’m very anxious that I may be hated some day. Yesterday I took some mistakes when I worked at my bakery. Chef Bouranger, my boss, seemed to be very angry at that time. As I looked his expression, I was very worry that I made him angry and I got very confused; His expression for me looked not to be changed at the end of yesterday’s work, at least I felt so.
I was very influenced by expressions of others for me, for I can’t still have self-confidence. I don’t recognize it at all…. In other words, it is hardly to recognize my value to live simply. The value resulting from just being here… is not inapplicable to me, I think. The value which I may be able to have is the value resulting from what I do only, I feel. The latter value is originated in other people’s judgement. So when I feel that someone get angry at me or what I do, I get very afraid that my value “in use” decreases very much.

I have to leave my house for the workplace. My heart is covered with dark dick cloud, which seems not to fade away permanently.

Thank you for your visit here today.

  1. I used to be a very shy and awkward child. It is when I realized that there is a right and wrong in any situation. If you are right…if you are doing right…then anyone saying otherwise…is wrong. Just worry about correct actions…not about what others may think. Just as you could be wrong…so may they be. Know that you will make mistakes until you have mastered your craft. Endeavor to do things correctly…understand the concept of that which you do. Take notes as to what should be done. Do whatever it takes to learn. If there is some failing on your part….yet you don’t know how to correct it…ask your superior. It is his duty to teach you. Write down his instructions…practice at home if necessary. If he sees progress…he will be more forgiving in the future.

    If you stay timid…you will fear making mistakes so much…you will not try to learn new things. You will hold yourself back.

    Venture forth…shoulder any burden or chastisation without complaint…you will soon learn what you need to know.

    Should you not try to extend yourself for fear of making mistakes…you will never master your craft.

    Don’t let anyone or anything keep you from your dreams…not even your own feelings.

    What I had learned in the military, so many years ago…(concerning duty) You don’t have to like it…you merely have to do it.

    Whenever your duty is clear…resoluteness of your conviction should also be, quite clear.

    Whenever you try…there is the possibility of making mistakes.

    So long as you keep trying…you shall eventually succeed.

    When you stop trying…for whatever reason…you shall always fail.

    When you let your fighting spirit fail..you are failing yourself.

    Even if you should fail at your task…fail fighting all the way.

    The difference between someone who achieves his dream and one who does not…is his drive…his fighting spirit.

    So long as you keep your fighting spirit…others may doubt you (initially)…however…you should never doubt yourself.

    Know what you want…know how to get it…never quit…never doubt…never stop. Just do it.

    I believe that is the true meaning of Ganbatte.

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