I can’t have a good sleep every night. I feel asleep about at 8 every evening and go to bed, but I wake up at 2 or 2:30 every night. I know that it is too early to go to bed at 8:00, but it is natural because I have to go to school early every morning. what the matter is that I’m tired very much every morning when I wake up though I have six hours for sleeping at least. The reason is not unclear. Perhaps stresses and strains keep me very tired.

To have a good rest for my own body and brain is very difficult for me. I realize that I always think about something meaningless which often gives me something painful and frightening. It has no meaning, I know, but I can’t stop it. I don’t know the way to think nothing.

Sometimes I want to go on a trip without anyone around Japan by car or train. On the trip, I perhaps remain seeing the sight on the window. What I see must be very beautiful and let me calm… Whenever I see mountains and rivers, bright fields and the sea which is too wide to recognize, I always have the feeling of nostalgia. It is not only to want to go back to my hometown, but also, to want to go back “Die Zeit davor, daß wir geboren waren(The time before our births)”. To go somewhere we don’t live is very attractive when we have trouble. But is it actually just an escape from reality?

If I can have a chance to go abroad again, I want to go to Germany and Norway. When I was in university, I learnt German there. To learn it brings me not only the knowledge about German grammar and words, but also more better understanding for English. Also dann kann ich noch jetzt ein bisschen Deutsch schreiben, hören und sprechen. Aber viele Wörter hatten schon von mir verlassen. Das ist mir sehr schade!
Before leaving the world, I want to visit Nordkapplatået in Norway. This is the most northern cape which people can visit in the Eurasian Continent. I hear that the view is too beautiful to express any words and pictures. I want to have a feeling of reality that I was born on the beautiful planet and it must be very fortunate.

…What do I write here today? It is meaningless at all… It is time that I must prepare to go to school.

Thank you for your visit here today.

  1. Restlessness and anxiety/fear…I am no stranger to them. I discovered one thing that changed my life forever in these aspects…and in life in general…I got in touch with myself through intense exercise. All you need do to cure your sleeplessness and anxiety is to start jogging. Build up to at least 45 min to 1 hour of steady running a day…or even every other day…your anxiety and fear will start to melt away. Run outside…a treadmill is mind numbing…just get some shoes and find a good running route…and just do it.

    You will start finding confidence to achieve anything you wish to do in life.

    • Thank you for your comment.

      I’ve heard that to do some excises brings one’s mind a kind of comfort. But because I haven’t do that because of my laziness. At first I want to start cycling with my bicycle on the route I find for a half or one hour. Recently I stop cycling because it is too hot to do that and I feel so tired that I want to stay inside… But it will make my mind worse only….

      Without thinking anything, I’ll start to go outside by bicycle.
      (To jog for a while is too hard to me…..!)

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