I can’t understand what I do because I’m too tired to grasp it.

It is Saturday today. This week will have gone away soon. I am very tired because of several reasons which I have already written here… But I know that to think about it is meaningless at all. People who commented here point it out, too.
It rains heavily today. I must go shopping to purchase some of vegetables, a bottle of milk and eggs today. In this city, Osaka, it is very useful to go somewhere by bike. Fare of transportation is not inexpensive and Going shopping on foot is not available to bring many plastic bags on shopping. A basket fit up on the bicycle helps people to bring what they bought easily.

Recently I feel that I can’t put up with not to buy something what I want to get. For example, some days ago, I bought a cap which cost about 5,000 JPN at a shopping mall located in Osaka Station. In the situation which I’m in normally I shouldn’t buy it because I have to decrease expenses now. But I couldn’t control myself…. Furthermore, yesterday I bought a fried chicken priced 500 JPN  though there might be other ingredients to get… It wasn’t also necessary to buy.

If I  live with outlay that is about 200,000 JPN per a month(In the fact I don’t have such a heavy expense per month!), I perhaps will be able to remain to live about more than 1 years. And then, of course I think that I want to start working as soon as I can after graduate the school I belong to now. But, but I have heavy anxiety in my heart; For a long time I have held a question in my depth…”Can I on earth live as same as ordinal people who live with their own works?” My heart is weak, and my body is, too… I can’t still give up to regard myself as “A person done badly, and grown up badly”. I always think that I have to apologize my parents and people who are familiar with me. I’m sorry and I thank you for your kindness that you keep the relationship with me, a person done badly, having a weak, selfish heart……

I have a dream. It is perhaps not great and brilliant. But… I have a question; Can I dream the dreams? And then, fundamentally, Do I have a qualification to have any dreams?
If not, Who give me the qualification to have them?

..In fact, I perhaps know the answer.
“Who?” …Yeah, it is simple; It is “me”. Only “I” can give the qualification to go ahead.

But, I can’t still permit me to have it…. because I don’t know how.

Thank you for your visit here today.

  1. All thinking people go through these same thoughts. What separates the ones who succeed, from those who don’t, are the ones who don’t listen to the negative thoughts. The ones who succeed are the ones that formulate and efficient plan of action…and who never quit.

    Remember…while, in general, thoughts lead to actions….it is when, because of correct and continuous actions, that a good result comes about, new thoughts about life are formed.

    Your actions in life determine your success, not your thoughts. Optimistic thoughts merely make the actions easier (and so, the necessary practice making success an eventuality)…by doing and succeeding, you cannot help but becoming more of an optimist.

    Doubt is good, so long as it is kept in perspective. It forces you to plan appropriately.

    However, so long as you have a solid plan…and keep working toward it…never quitting…regardless of who (even you) thinks otherwise….you shall eventually succeed. The ones who give up their dreams because of fear of the unknown, are the ones who merely exist in life, and not fully living it. It is the difference between just getting by and loving life.

    It is your sacred duty to live life to its fullest extent…there is only one to live.

    Ganbatte! Never give up on your dreams!

    • Thank you for your comment and your advise and I really have to be sorry you to reply my comment lately.
      I have no time recently, and furthermore, I’m too late to think anything and to write them in foreign languages.X(

      Recently I go to school and bake breads everyday with some small aims. To think about my future too much makes me very tired and pessimistic… To attain an important objective, the ones who want it, must achieve many and various aims on the way to it, I feel. As you say, Doubt is good and thoughts leads to actions. But in my case, they’ve restrained my positive actions recently… So that I determine to try various things without hesitations with small aims at school everyday.

      Not to regret my way on my own life long after, I want to live hard every day; It brings me the realization of my dream by any chance.

      ありがとう!! 自分の為に、毎日を頑張ります。(Arigatou. Jibun no tame ni, mainichi wo ganbarimasu. / Thank you very much! I live hard to myself.)

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