When a thing which I can’t treat or solve happens, what should I do to make it something better?
There is a trouble in my family now. My family means my parents; mother and father. I have no brothers and sisters, so that my family has only three members.
My mother and father have been a married couple about for 30 years, but they aren’t close now. There are many troubles between her and him. I think they shouldn’t have become a married couple; I think that it is unbelievable for foreigners, especially people who live in Europe, America, or other occidental areas, that there is a system of marriage that the parents decide to the one who is married with their children. Many people and elements, for example, their brothers and sisters, their family’s status, influences their decision, but the will of their children tends to be neglected. My parents’ marriage is also a typical of such a way of marriage.
And then, their characters are very different each other.
They have had quarrels many times since they married. I think that my father has made many causes of troubles; he seems that he shouldn’t get married with her(or anyone). Perhaps he will be happy when he lose his family because it brings him a freedom to do everything which he wants. His character is very simple; He wants to get what he wants even if it is very very expensive. but he doesn’t want any expenses to anyone, off course to his family. I remember still now that he didn’t buy a book written by Tolstoy for me when I wanted to read it; But at the same time, he purchased many books which were all very expensive.
On the other side, my mother has had several trouble of money; After growing up and starting to earn, I have been hurt my feelings about money by her. I can’t forget how I was hurted my feelings and how it made my difficult to believe in anyone. After all, these troubles resulted from my parents’ bad terms.
“Ko ha Kasugai.”
It is a Japanese proverb(saying).It means that children can be bridge between a husband and a wife though they are on bad terms. I feel it is terrible for children; who on earth wants to be bridge between islands both of which want to go away each other? Longer the distance between the islands becomes, more difficult to connect these for the bridge becomes.
Yesterday there was a trouble; My father lost his money and my mother told me that he was suspicious of her… She was very angry and she returned money which was given to her as living expenses to him. I can do nothing because I am very far away from my house in Fukuoka but I’m very worried about this problem.
And then, frankly speaking, I become too tired to do anything or to think anything positive….
Why do many problems happen to me? I did something wrong or bad? Please tell me the reason, please….
I’m just very tired.tired, tired….