Reminiscence.

A few days ago my work came to end. My work was to teach high school students how to use computer and how to treat information which is brought from many sources. In other words, it is called “Teacher” generally.
Thinking that it is the best job for themselves, many people called “Teacher” are working, I think. But telling the truth, I have thought and felt that I don’t have a bent for it. Teachers, in Japan at least, are required to use much of their own time for students in addition to their ordinary works and to remain making efforts for them. As a result, large numbers of them also have to work on holidays.
I don’t think that it is not good. Working too much is not good, of course I think, but if they hope it or they don’t hesitate to devote their own time, efforts and other things of themselves, other people should not criticize them for it.
But it imposed a burden on me. I wanted to have time for myself. To work holidays for students belonging to soccer club at the high school where I worked was too hard to be patient. I don’t like to play any sports so that I don’t understand the rule of soccer and furthermore I don’t play it or teach it to students at all. “Why do I have to stay on the ground, though there is nothing I can do here?” I often thought like this.

It is fortunate that I’m able to stop my present work and try to begin something new; Japan was struck by a severe and terrible disaster about a week ago and many cities, towns and villages were struck also by huge Tsunami and destroyed; Worse, some of nuclear power plants located in northeast Japan were also damaged and one of them is in emergency that means to leak vapor including radioactive substance and to cause a nuclear meltdown now. I live in Fukuoka, which is located in Kyushu, west Japan, so that I don’t feel damage directly. But in fact, many people are being injured and wounded from this heavily terrible, severe disaster. Many of them lost their own houses, cultivated land, hometown, and their own parents, brothers and sisters, sons, daughters and many friends…
Frankly speaking, I feel that it is very precious that we can live calmly without trouble every day. My house is very old and have many flaws, but my family can live in it. I don’t have much money, buy I’m able to be living calmly now. I can drink a cup of coffee, When I want to it. I can eat what I want. If I want to something, I can buy it at a super market near my house, going there by car. But to think “it is natural” is wrong completely; “Daily life” can be destroyed any time. We mustn’t forget this inexorable fact.

By the way, in the last homeroom of the first grade I talked a story about myself to students as a greeting to say good bye. I wanted to talk them that it is not bad at all to make fault or not to be able to make a decision easily. There are those who can decide what they do, can achieve something they want and can realize their own dreams. But not all of people can do or live in such a way; Many of them make fault and come to end in failure to realize what they wish. I think that the number of them who can’t live skillfully is larger than the number of those whose dream is come true by their own efforts or skill.
Many of students coming to the school where I worked aren’t fond of studying. They don’t like to learn words and idioms by heart. It is very difficult for them to understand mathematics. And still more -I think it is the most significant one of problems they have- They aren’t proud of themselves at all. When I praised them in classes, they were very pleased; Perhaps they have no experiences to be praised. On the contrary, they have been scolded many many times since they were in childhood… As a result, they can’t be proud of themselves. They don’t realize their own worth as a person. And then, when they make failure, they feel they are worthless more strongly.
Teaching them at school, I have had many troubles and problems. I have got angry many times and spoken often ill of them among colleagues. But it doesn’t mean that they are worthless. It means just the shortage or lack of my skill and efforts.

Many teachers teaching students in Japan seem to have no experiences absolute sense of helpless. They are bright and cleaver, and furthermore they can make efforts to know something or to make what they want. It is very wonderful, I think, but I think also it means that they can understand those who can’t do in such a way at the same time. Therefore it may be difficult for them to understand the students who don’t try to make efforts or to study hard, and finally they may be angry with these students.

The last homeroom coming to end, the students suddenly stood up and they said to me; “Thank you, teacher!” and pull crackers. I was very surprised and at the same time I was very glad. Frankly speaking, to teach these students was the most difficult of all classes which I had for me; but I’m very pleased that I could have the last day at this high school in this way.

I’m preparing to move to another city now; I will learn how to bake bread as a professional at a school in Osaka. I’m very busy and to prepare various things makes me very tired but I can enjoy it; Believing that something interesting and exiting will come to me there, I’m putting things in order.

Thank you for your visit here today.

  1. BRAVO!!! You are moving in the direction of your dreams. So many people merely dream…you are going to make it a reality. That is so good for you.

    You will forever be proud of yourself for what you are doing.

    • Thank you for your comment!

      I’m glad to read your comment and I also try to think that I’m doing what I want to do.
      But, frankly speaking, I’m also very anxious about the life in a new “field” which I know noting about.
      And furthermore, it is not obvious whether I can get a job after leaving school.

      However I can’t stop doing it so that all I can do is to do what I have to do to make my dream true, I think.

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