In a mutter…

I have thought about a thing for a few days. The thing is to have an affair. Of course I know that it is not good and should be criticized in many cases. I think there are many reasons and causes to do that, but I also think that it must hurt someone’s feelings deeply. Those who may be hurt their feeling are not only the lovers whose lovers have had an affair, but also their family, children, parents and their friends… Who can accept the responsibility for them?

I was asked whether I have ever wanted to have an affair or not by my girlfriend. When she read the various websites, she wanted to ask the question for me. I thought about it for a while and I answered “No”. If someone wants to have an affair with me, I may not want to do it because it seems very tiresome.
I also thought the reason that she asked such a question. We have known each other for several years, but she doesn’t still trust me? She feels that I may have an affair with someone who isn’t her by some chance? If so, I was very sad and it is very rude for me, I feel. I’ve been worried and distressed about it for a few days.

To believe in someone is, if anything, not easy. Believing in something requires ” just believing ” even if there are no evidences and no proofs which support the action. But I have trusted my girlfriend as  much as possible. And she has trusted me like me, I’ve thought. But is it wrong? If I have been doubted many times by my girlfriend, I’m very shocked.

What is to believe or to trust? Or what on the earth is love? I have lost my way in dark cloudy and I can’t still find the way to something which gives me hope.

Thank you for your visit here today.

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