In a mutter…

I don’t have to go to school today. Many people must work as usual weekdays because it is Monday today, but I have already put in the request to make this day a holiday so that though it is eight o’clock I can blog at home. Including this day, I take three consecutive days as holidays this time. Today is the last day of these holidays.

I baked pain traditionnel this morning, but it failed in. But I can’t throw these failure bread away in the trash, I think to eat it like “Baguette Sandwich” with vegetables, some slices of ham and cheese.

I’m blogging with listening to a song sung by Akihiro Miwa. The name of this song is “Ai-no-Sanka(Hymne A L’amour)”. I borrowed his CD last week, This song is one of songs included in it. Most of songs in this CD are sung in Japanese, but he sings this song in French, after he tells the sentences which are the translated ones from original French lyric of it in Japanese like singing to its melody. Of course I like the French lyric of the song, but I also like the sentences; Japanese words included in them are very beautiful and polite. When I listen to them told by his voice, I feel like my heart getting calmness back.

I was very anxious about something this morning. I felt a void in my heart. Why? Of course I didn’t know that; All I understood was that I was too tired to want to do anything. I wished my heart stopping if I return to the silence of nothing by it. I must be the same of those who insist on what they want to realize or to do, I hated them at that time. I regretted to be born as a human.

I tried to draw something with a sheet of paper and a pencil, but I couldn’t do it because my heart was occupied by a feeling that I never drew something better. To try to blog something also failed in. No sentences occurred to me. After waking up, I couldn’t do anything for several hours.

I feel better than this early morning, but I still feel that All I do is meaningless at all. My heart is filled with the sadness but the reason isn’t obvious. I feel tired, tired, just tired. If I stopped thinking about everything! But it is perhaps impossible until my life comes to end.

Thank you for your visit here today.

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