Though It is Saturday today…

It is Saturday today, but I must go to work at school. Last Monday was the alternative of today, so that The number of holiday we can hold is guaranteed. However I’m not fine and the reason is simple; I’m too tired to do anything.

All I have to do today is not so much, on the contrary I will be able to have time to rest for a while this afternoon. I won’t have to stay there after school long Perhaps I will get out there and go back home after the working hours. Nevertheless I don’t want to go there, and my wish is just to sleep for a long time or go somewhere anyone who doesn’t know me. The place kept silently is more better. At a hotel or Pension located in a silent place surrounded mountains or faced to a coast of the sea.

People say that to make relationship with others is very important, but I don’t want to make too many relationships which are more than I want.  I never deny the effectiveness of relationship with other people and in fact some of my friends use it on their job or their pleasure very well. But in my case, The too much relationship is just a load. Since my childhood, I have rather played alone than played with people around me; When every one went out and  played something at a noon recess, I always drew pictures at the classroom alone. I didn’t feel that it was something bad, I just enjoyed doing it. On the other hand, I was not good at talking with someone. I couldn’t often catch the atmosphere the conversation among classmates had and therefore I made it worse.  So that I liked to play with a pencil and some sheets of paper… they were always my friends, and never criticized me.

My parents haven’t been also able to make good relationship each other. The situation is not still changed now. There was no conversation between them, but they sometimes had a quarrel. I have no brothers and sisters, so that I was very sad and kept lonely. A cat living with us sometimes healed my loneliness.

These experiences must make me a one who wants to stay alone essentially. Staying among many people, I become gradually tired and become being able to think nothing. In the case to be spoken to rapidly or to be required the answer immediately is same too. These situations make me tired, and when I can’t be no longer patient, I just want to get away somewhere, or to take my own life to wish going somewhere no one exists and kept silently.

It is fine today. The sky above me is just colored blue. Nonetheless, my heart remains being covered with thick cloud.

Thank you for your visit here today.

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