Students are…

They are very young. I always think so when I teach them in classes or I clean the computer room with them.

I’m 27 years old now. Three years later I will become 30 years old. So I will have lived for 3 decades. I usually rarely think about it, but I face the fact in the case I have a lot of things to do and it makes me very tired.
For example, the Sports Festival. Students had to practice tumbling or dancing outside every day.  It was too hot every day to stay outside for a long time. Worse, We teachers also had to stay there… In the case a trouble occurs when they practice on the ground like a desert holding no water. After that I could do nothing at all. And the next day I remained being so tired that I sometimes forgot what I should have taught them in classes.
But they were different from me. They became fine with sleeping for several hours. (Notice: Becoming fine  was never the same as they studied hard or listened to what we said. They are completely different matters I think. ) They had power or energy enough to live finely every day. The power and energy coming from them without any pause is too heavy for me to receive.

As I have blogged several times, I’m not so strong that I must sometimes have rest to recover from my fatigue. It is necessary for me. But to face the students who keep unlimited power, we the teacher must also be powerful every time when we work. It will be impossible for me before long.

I have thought since I was a junior high school student that I wouldn’t be able to live long. And I’d also thought that it was not important how long we could live. Till I met my girl friend, I decided to do killing myself  after both of my parents died. I thought there wasn’t no reason to live after my family had gone by.

Now I have a girl friend I want to live with some day, before long. So the thought to commit suicide faded away. But I am sometimes anxious about my future… Can I live with her with keeping my health for some decades? One day, Will my body be destroyed by an illness which will bring me a fatal situation? I know well that my body is weak, and furthermore, my mind is so, too…

Thank you for your visit here today.

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