I had some classes today.
My job is to teach students how to use computers. And furthermore, I sometimes talk to them what the information-oriented society is and how we should live in it. I don’t know how they feel when I talk… Some may find something interesting in my class, and the others may have no interest and begin to sleep. If many students can’t be interested in it, It’s just the failure of my skill to teach something.
Teaching something is very difficult for me. After beginning this work I realized that to teach someone what I knew was very different from having knowledge about something. If we understand a thing completely, it is a quite different matter to teach or tell it to someone.
Frankly speaking, I think that I’m not fit for a teacher at all. I have asked one of my colleagues a question before. “Why did you wanted to be a teacher?” The answers were as follows; “Because I like to teach someone what I know.” “I’m glad when students grow up with getting to grasp something they haven’t known.”
Unfortunately, I can’t feel as their answers. Before every class I have stresses and strains and I’m afraid of a situation that I can’t explain them well or students remain to be lazy or noisy. There is no chance to enjoy having classes in my brain. At present my job is a teacher. But it is by no means my favorite occupation. I regard the job just as a work to earn money.
I should be criticized for the stance about my present work. In fact, my conscience sometimes troubles me. But remaining to suffer from it is too hard for me to bear. Without psychosomatic medicine prescribed by a doctor I can’t live calmly every day presently. Thinking that way I wrote before is one of my means not to be sick mentally. Working comfortably isn’t easy for me.
Tomorrow I have to work at school. Just to earn money. It’s the only present means for me to remain to live.
Thank you for your visit here today.